new job, old anxiety

Money is something that I've always been guilty and/or scared with. For some reason, I have always been this way. If I spend money, I feel guilty. If I want to spend money, I feel bad. The worst is if I have to ask for money. This brings me to my story. Yesterday was the first day I was paid at my new nanny job. See, I got this App on my iPod Touch that I use to track my hours. This being my first week with the new family, it was my first time using said App. When I showed her the screen, it showed her $75. I worked more than that last week, but when she double-checked that she read it properly, I confirmed. Why did I confirm? C'mon, Jess. If I had just said something right then, it wouldn't be an issue at all. I'd get, "Oh, sorry! Let me fix that." No big deal. But now I did something stupid. I left that check there (not accidentally but planned to say it was accidental) and had already e-mailed her a list of my hours in hopes that maybe she'd find the check and the e-mail, compare, and think, "Oh no! I'll call Jessica right away and fix this!" Dream on, Jessica. I'm going to call her this afternoon and tell her what happened. Here's my script at present: "Did you get the e-mail I sent with the hours? Wanted to make sure the App worked properly. Well, for some reason, when you asked me about $75, I wimped out and said yes because I felt bad. I probably didn't need to feel bad at all, but..." and then the conversation would go from there. She's a reasonable woman, and I'm sure she'll understand. If only I hadn't confirmed and felt bad then, and if only I hadn't left my check on their front table... this would be much easier of a situation.

Other than my blunder, this new job is great. : ) Kids are great and fun and love to play, and I'm enjoying getting to know them. This does NOT mean that I don't miss the Zimmers, because I do. A lot. I get to go babysit them on Friday, though! : )

Life's pretty good right now. Except Joel's away until tomorrow afternoon. Other than that, all good. : )