struggle

When I was younger, I was really bad at connecting with new people. I still struggle with that, but I'm a little bit better at coming out of my shell with new people now. Well, with this new job, I have met a young version of myself. We'll call him EA. He's ten years old, and he acts exactly how I acted back then. What worked best with me was when someone unrelentingly pursued me almost to the point of obnoxiousness. I know that my tendencies are birthed from insecurities and the desire for acceptance. I have yet to identify EA's reasons, but he is acting exactly how I did. Yesterday I picked both kids up from school. In the back seat, he was as quiet as could be. Not a single word. When we got home, same thing. And this is while I was asking questions to both him and his sister, LA. Once we got home, I continued to ask questions and get no responses. After a few tries, I said, "I know you might not be happy, and that's fine; you don't have to act happy with me, but you do need to answer my questions when I'm talking to you." All this said in a very calm voice, of course. A few minutes later, I tried again: "Do you have any homework to do tonight?" No response. So, then: "Fine. You don't have to talk to me. I'll just go hang out with LA, and you can talk when you feel like it." Then I left the room. I think that when I was not seeking to gain his approval/acceptance and let him know that he couldn't do whatever he wanted without upsetting me, he broke down. He came in and played like 5 minutes later. While I don't recommend this method or plan on employing it in the future, it worked this one time. I really hope I find some common ground between us; I want very much to connect with him. Other than that, the job's great. : )